NOW BE ON YOUR WAY . . .
Nicole Lannyk - Mother of James
February 14, 2003 is a day this is forever etched in my mind. The doctors sat across the table from us and explained to us that our son has a neurological brain disorder, Autism. They have no cure, no real suggestions, they don't know if he will every speak or be able to live alone and funtion in society. That's it . . .
Here is your diagnosis now be on your way and try to live your lives the best way you know how.
Be On Your Way . . . And try to figure out how to communicate with this child that does not speak.
Be On Your Way . . . And try to find a school that will make a difference and embrace and engage your child and teach them in a way they can understand.
Be On Your Way . . . And try to find funding for therapy since insurance companines will not cover anything.
Be On Your Way . . . And try to learn what IEP's are what ABA is, what GF/CF means and how to do it properly.
Be On Your Way . . . And learn how to deal with the meltdowns and the rage when something triggers them even if you don't always know what those triggers are.
Be On Your Way . . . And learn how to begin the process on grieving because in a way it is a loss.
Be On Your Way . . . And begin the most important part after the grieving process, the healing part, the part where you accept that this is your life now, this is the child you love to no end, this is the child you would move heaven and earth for and that is what you do. You do everything in your power you make a difference in that child's life. You be their voice, You advocate for them because they cannot, and realize that if you don't nobody elese will. You be the best, most patient understanding parent you know how to be. Most importantly you need to realize that god gives special kids to special people and that it's your job to love them unconditionally and keep them safe.
Be On Your Way . . .
IMAGINE . . .
Nicole Lannyk - Mother of James 4 years old
Imagine
No I love yous
No family picnics, parades, or weddings
No friends or playmates
Imagine
A 4 year old that doesn't understand what
will happen if he runs in front of a car
Or jumps into a pool
Imagine
A home looking like Ft. Knox
Just to keep your child safe
Imagine
Being told your child has a neurological brain disorder
And maybe never be able to speak, function in society,
Live alone, marry or have children, your heart sinks
Imagine
After waking your child in the morning, if you don't do
Everything in the same order as the day before, at the
Precise moment it's enought to ruin their entire day
Imagine
Watching your child on the first day of school stepping
Into the handicapped bus
Imagine
Having your home invaded with teachers, therapists,
State reps, child psychologists for 35 hours per week of intense
1 on 1 therapy in hopes of a better life someday
Imagine
Watching the agony on your child's face giving you the
"Mommy why are you letting them do this to me" look while
Doing numerous EEG's blood work, x-rays, and testing to
Figure out how to help them feel better
Imagine
Just how many "your kids a brat" stares you get in public
Simply because your child cannot handle social situations
Including a simpe trip to the grocery store
Imagine
What Autistic children, parents and families go through
On a daily basis
Autism Mothers Chosen By God
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 500,000 women in the world will become mothers of children with autis .
Did you ever wonder how mothers of these children are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew. “Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia.
“Rudledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint… give her Gerard, He’s used to profanity.”
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a child with autism.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”
“Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give an autistic child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she patience?” asks the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.”
“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world and that’s not going to be easy.” “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles. “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who is less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ’spoken word.’ She will never consider a ’step’ ordinary.”
“When her child says ‘Momma, I Love You’ , she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or sunset to her child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.” “I will permit her to see clearly the things I see… ignorance, cruelty, prejudice… and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.” “And what about her patron saint” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air. God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
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